you know those girls.. the ones, that glare at you as you walk past that make faces behind your back that whisper whenever you're not around that focus on every single detail of your being that cant forget the mistakes you made, no matter how small that live out their life just trying to ruin yours yeah girls, please grow up, or get the hell out.

the air rushes through my ears
it blows my hair into a tornado above my mind
my breathing gets slower
my eyes glass over
i can feel my hands turning violet and ocean like as they go into dark numbness
the thoughts in my head swirl,collide,demolish
i can sense the feelings leaving me
the nightmares taking over
my ribs combust
my spine tears out of my skin like a caterpillar beginning a new life

i look up to the white speckled ceiling, the coffee stains
the rings, rings, rings
i make you out walking towards me
i recognize your shape
but i keep walking
i feel the ground beneath my soles
and i run
run, run, run
until i can no longer see you only the orange and yellow bus, bus, bus
you stutter through my mind, mind.
until i reach the doors and find my seat
my head crashes and burns
and im finally away, finally ok

1. you like me so fucking much
2. you still have feelings for danielle
3. you wanna go on a date with me
4. no that not a good idea you dont wanna fuck stuff up
5. you really miss me
6. you think i should move on

cool thanks for making my fucking night babe. your the best at getting me to cry, turning me into a mess, and pissing me right off.

day 15

3 words to describe your life



an.epic.battle. <3

Day 15

first relationship

well i'd have to say its a three way tie

1. christian nori- well he doesnt really count cause it lasted like 4 days. and it was a secret. and we were partners in gym like one day. hello typical grade 7 relationship.

2. troy mcgee- i was like in love with him for a whole year. so i thought when he finally asked me out why not. i broke up with christian right away and said yes to troy. we hugged once between the buses. i thought we were perfect. one again hello typical grade 7 relationship.

3. mauricio uribe- so pretty much we were great together... the first time around. we hung out all the time, we were crazy together, we talked on the phone like every night, he did all the right things, i did all the right things. and when we had our first kiss... oh baby i thought i was gunna explode. after the first school dance against the brick wall. we dated on and off for 2 years. and finally i realized that relationship should of stayed in grade seven. so i said goodbye typical grade 7 relationship. goodbye mauricio.

day 14

something your ashamed of


my lies, my dirty little lies.

Day 13

how do you feel about yourself

im pretty bipolar with m self image/confidence etc. one day my confidence is to the roof and i think im gorgeous and sweet and popular, the next day it feels like i have no friends, like no one will ever like me, like my grades are scum, and my kindness is more like total bitch.

so all i can tell you is how i feel about myself right now.

and please oh dear blog please do not think im bragging. im not.

i think i have pretty eyes, and nice hair
i would trade anything to have a better body
i think im doing really well at work, and that i owned it today
i think i treat people pretty well most of the time
i think i dont judge others as much as some of my friends
i think that im decently popular, even tho i hate admitting it
and i think i have awful study habits, but if i got better i could have a way better average
but all in all, today im feeling pretty good about myself. :)

Day 12

what makes me smile?

thats a tough one

- bubble wrap
- snow days
- warm rain
- boys who say cute things
- great clothing finds
- naps
- when my friends do something nice
- work
- wearing a boys sweater
- finding out someone suprising likes me
- tumblr
- my crazy mother
- life, gorgeous, life

Day 11

5 things that make you mad

1.boys,boys,boys
2.expectations
3.dramatic,wannabe, plastic girls
4.when my parents are worry warts
5.stress, anxiety, rumors