so self concious

why cant i have a higher metabolism
why cant i weigh a little less
why dont i have a flat stomach
why am i so self concious
i dont eat as much as i should
i dont feel as confident as everyone else
i dont like people seeing me without my oversized sweater on
i dont feel good in my own skin
is god there? could he make me skinnier
is there a way i could see my ribs without sucking in?
is there an end to hating bikinis?


i'm determined to love my body.

dearest sienna,
i miss you. we used to be best friends. i used to tell you everything, EVERYTHING. we went through everything together. you stuck around when no one else did. you stayed up on the phone with me for hours when i needed someone to talk to even if it was just to plan out what i would wear the next day. i miss your hugs. i miss your smiles. and i know it was my fault we fell apart but i miss everything about us being friends. i miss coming to your house and going on shopping trips to walmart where i always bought something way to big for me to finish (kool-aid, crackers, big pack of chocolate) and you never laughed at me you laughed with me, i miss talking to you about boys you always understood, i miss talking to you about my numerous sex kittens, i miss go crazy hyper and being myself around you! because we were best friends, sisters at the least. and now we are silly acquaintances we say hello in the halls but i dont know anything about you anymore. and when logan asked me out you were the first person i wanted to call. but you found out when i was talking to allie... i miss you. that is all. i miss you like crazy. it feels like half of me is gone.

oh babe

i wish i could stop looking at my watch
i want to stop my mind from thinking about you
but i know there is nothing i can do.
i'm in like with you.
and i wish you were a better boyfriend to me
i want you to be there all the time
but i know there is nothing i can do.
i'm in like with you
i wish i had the power to break up with you or to turn you around
i want you to stop ignoring me. i want to stop caring
but i know there is nothing i can do.
nothing at all.
because i'm in like with you

what if i like you again...

i should think before i drink

i am 47% of a virgin to life

Start at 100% and subtract 1% for everything you’ve done. At the end, re-post this as I am % of a Virgin at Life.

1. Smoked.

2. Drank alcohol

3. Cried when someone died.

4. Been drunk.

5. Had sex.

6. Been to a concert.

7. gotten/given a handjob.

8. gotten/given a blowjob.

9. Been verbally/sexually harassed.

10. Verbally/sexully harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 92%


11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.

12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.

13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfrend before.

14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.

15. Been to prom.

16. Cried at school.

17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.

18. Went streaking.

19. Given or receieved a lap dance.

20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.

22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sexs house.

23. Kissed a stranger.

24. Hugged a stranger.

25. Went scuba diving.

26. Driven a car.

27. Gotten an x-ray.

28. Hit by a car.

29. Had a party.

30. Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82%

31. Played strip poker/darts.

32. Got paid to strip for someone.

33. Run away from home.

34. Broken a bone.

35. Eaten sushi.

36. Bought porn.

37. Watched porn.

38. Made porn.

39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.

40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 79%

41. French kissed.

42. Laughed so hard you cried.

43. Cried yourself to sleep.

44. Laughed yourself to sleep.

45. Stabbed yourself.

46. Shot a gun.

47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.

48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.

49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.

50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 73%

51. Watched a person die

52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.

53. Pranked somebody

54. Put somebody in the hospital.

55. Snuck into someones room and/or your own room after being out.

56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.

57. Dressed punk.

58. Dressed goth.

59. Dressed preppy.

60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR; 69%

61. Avoided somebody.

62. Been stalked.

63. Stalked someone.

64. Met a celebrity.

65. Played an instrument.

66. Ridden a horse.

67. Cut yourself.

68. Bungee jumped.

69. Ding dong ditched somebody.

70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 62%

71. Got caught stealing something.

72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.

73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.

74. Gone out with your friends crush.

75. Got arrested.

76. Been pregnant.

77. Babysat.

78. Been to another country.

79. Started your house on fire.

80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 59%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.

82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you’d be asked out by.

83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.

84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over or 3 months.

85. Sat on your butt all day.

86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.

87. Had a job.

88. Gotten cut from a sports team.

89. Been called a whore.

90. Danced like a whore

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.

92. Been in a car accident.

93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.

94. Been told you have beautiful hair.

95. Raped somebody.

96. Danced in the rain.

97. Been rejected.

98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.

99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.

100. Been raped.

PERCENTAGE: 47%

this is my kinda day