day 1

1. i trust too easily
2. i always, always, ALWAYS have feelings for two guys
3. my best friend is lauren nicole sheets
4. my favorite food/candy is reese's peanut butter cups
5. im obsessed with vera wang and nina rici perfume
6. my favorite colour is mint
7. my first kiss, real kiss was with mauricio in grade 7
8. my mom is a crazy person! but i love her with all my heart.
9. i love rain
10. the only thing that can make me happy when nothing else can is dance

25 day challenge

1. photo of you along with 10 facts
2.describe your relationship status
3.past boyfriends, list one pro one con
4.describe your mood
5.a letter to your bestfriend
6.the hardest thing you've ever had to do
7.one thing you want to tell someone
8.a recent picture of you
9.your picture of the day
10. 6 things you cant live without
11.5 things that make you mad
12.what makes you smile
13.how do you feel about yourself
14.something your ashamed of
15.first relationship
16.your life story in 3 words
17. list 5 imperfections/flaws
18.empty your backpack take a picture of its contents
19.post a random picture from today, explain
20.time to get ready for school, post a picture of all your supplies
21.biggest fear when it comes to relationships
22.picture of you and your best friend
23. bad habit you have
24. ex best friend - why are you no longer friends?
25. letter to an ex boyfriend

dirty little secrets

and i'm still lying to you.
i'm still lying to myself.

my lips are a mess, when they touch yours. you turn me into a fool.

im so confident, and feel so experienced, and i'm never nervous.

but when i get around you, it feels like

your my first kiss,

the first person to ever touch me. and butterflies overcome me.

thats why i like you, you make me feel new again.

i can be having the shittiest day, but i know i can turn to you, and my day will be insantly all better. dance.

and trust me i know how you feel, how it is to be lonely. its shitty. it really is, just know i understand i still feel lonely in a crowded room. I feel lonely everytime i talk to mauricio and christian and know that they 'get' me more then our guy friends, that i trust them more. but none of you approve of them. And i would never admit this to your face but i felt lonely without you there on saturday, your my sidekick. were a team. and whenever you feel left out talk to me. because i wont bite, i might not have the best advice, or comforting comments, but i can tell you that i love you and ill always be here.

i'll wait till we figure this out. i wont give up on us i know we will fix it over time. we have to.

I want this year to be different.

i want to make a difference, i wanna change. I got asked to do the new student lunch, got recognized by 2 people for the leadership retreat, and have honors with highest distinction. i just want to keep it up i want this year to be a good one. I want to aim higher, set goals and achieve them. My boyfriend is amazing he's popular, hilarious, cute and so sweet. I cant let these distractions get in my way, i always do. But this year is going to be different, i'm not going to let it happen! I just can't.

i love harry potter

dear celeste you are amazing.

what the fuck am i doing?

lovely bones

so self concious

why cant i have a higher metabolism
why cant i weigh a little less
why dont i have a flat stomach
why am i so self concious
i dont eat as much as i should
i dont feel as confident as everyone else
i dont like people seeing me without my oversized sweater on
i dont feel good in my own skin
is god there? could he make me skinnier
is there a way i could see my ribs without sucking in?
is there an end to hating bikinis?


i'm determined to love my body.

dearest sienna,
i miss you. we used to be best friends. i used to tell you everything, EVERYTHING. we went through everything together. you stuck around when no one else did. you stayed up on the phone with me for hours when i needed someone to talk to even if it was just to plan out what i would wear the next day. i miss your hugs. i miss your smiles. and i know it was my fault we fell apart but i miss everything about us being friends. i miss coming to your house and going on shopping trips to walmart where i always bought something way to big for me to finish (kool-aid, crackers, big pack of chocolate) and you never laughed at me you laughed with me, i miss talking to you about boys you always understood, i miss talking to you about my numerous sex kittens, i miss go crazy hyper and being myself around you! because we were best friends, sisters at the least. and now we are silly acquaintances we say hello in the halls but i dont know anything about you anymore. and when logan asked me out you were the first person i wanted to call. but you found out when i was talking to allie... i miss you. that is all. i miss you like crazy. it feels like half of me is gone.

oh babe

i wish i could stop looking at my watch
i want to stop my mind from thinking about you
but i know there is nothing i can do.
i'm in like with you.
and i wish you were a better boyfriend to me
i want you to be there all the time
but i know there is nothing i can do.
i'm in like with you
i wish i had the power to break up with you or to turn you around
i want you to stop ignoring me. i want to stop caring
but i know there is nothing i can do.
nothing at all.
because i'm in like with you

what if i like you again...

i should think before i drink

i am 47% of a virgin to life

Start at 100% and subtract 1% for everything you’ve done. At the end, re-post this as I am % of a Virgin at Life.

1. Smoked.

2. Drank alcohol

3. Cried when someone died.

4. Been drunk.

5. Had sex.

6. Been to a concert.

7. gotten/given a handjob.

8. gotten/given a blowjob.

9. Been verbally/sexually harassed.

10. Verbally/sexully harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 92%


11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.

12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.

13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfrend before.

14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.

15. Been to prom.

16. Cried at school.

17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.

18. Went streaking.

19. Given or receieved a lap dance.

20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.

22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sexs house.

23. Kissed a stranger.

24. Hugged a stranger.

25. Went scuba diving.

26. Driven a car.

27. Gotten an x-ray.

28. Hit by a car.

29. Had a party.

30. Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82%

31. Played strip poker/darts.

32. Got paid to strip for someone.

33. Run away from home.

34. Broken a bone.

35. Eaten sushi.

36. Bought porn.

37. Watched porn.

38. Made porn.

39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.

40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 79%

41. French kissed.

42. Laughed so hard you cried.

43. Cried yourself to sleep.

44. Laughed yourself to sleep.

45. Stabbed yourself.

46. Shot a gun.

47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.

48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.

49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.

50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 73%

51. Watched a person die

52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.

53. Pranked somebody

54. Put somebody in the hospital.

55. Snuck into someones room and/or your own room after being out.

56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.

57. Dressed punk.

58. Dressed goth.

59. Dressed preppy.

60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR; 69%

61. Avoided somebody.

62. Been stalked.

63. Stalked someone.

64. Met a celebrity.

65. Played an instrument.

66. Ridden a horse.

67. Cut yourself.

68. Bungee jumped.

69. Ding dong ditched somebody.

70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 62%

71. Got caught stealing something.

72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.

73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.

74. Gone out with your friends crush.

75. Got arrested.

76. Been pregnant.

77. Babysat.

78. Been to another country.

79. Started your house on fire.

80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 59%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.

82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you’d be asked out by.

83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.

84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over or 3 months.

85. Sat on your butt all day.

86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.

87. Had a job.

88. Gotten cut from a sports team.

89. Been called a whore.

90. Danced like a whore

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.

92. Been in a car accident.

93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.

94. Been told you have beautiful hair.

95. Raped somebody.

96. Danced in the rain.

97. Been rejected.

98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.

99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.

100. Been raped.

PERCENTAGE: 47%

this is my kinda day

“I’m calling cause I need you.You know I need you so desperately.You know how bad I can get,And you know, how good I can be.I’m calling just to tell you,Get here and I’ll make it worth your while.I can make you some food.Boy, and then I can make you smile.”

“This is the last time you say,After the last line you break,It’s not even a holiday,Nothing to celebrate.You give a hundred reasons why,And you say you’re really gonna try.If I had a nickel for everytime,I’d overbank.Thought that I was the exception,I could have rewrite your addiction,You could’ve been the greatest,But you’d rather get wasted.”

dont freak i dont feel this way now. but this is one of the best descriptions i've ever heard for depression. it makes me feel a lot less left out.

“People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s hopelessness. Imagine waking up and there being no colour. Walking outside and feeling no wind. Eating a meal and tasting nothing. Holding somone and feeling completely alone at the same time. When you’re depressed, it’s not a bad mood. It’s a numb, empty, hollowness that seems to never leave. It’s feeling alone in a room full of people. You feel like there’s no hope left.”

I LOVE LAUREN NICOLE SHEETS

and were hypocrites. im a hypocrite.
i say all these girls are sluts when i do the same things as them.
who am i to judge?

i. hate. you.

i never knew a person could make me feel physically sick before.
i didn't know how much you hurt me till i saw you
i felt ashamed and embarassed.
i couldn't look at myself in the mirror. from disapointment
i cant believe i let you in, like i did.
i cant believe i let you do what you did.
and most of all i cant believe that i had the fucking courtesy to wave back at you. to use my manners.
i almost started crying. my head was pounding. i felt nausicous. and my hands were shaking. i felt like i couldnt walk.
why did i ever let you take advantage of me like that? and why the fuck am i still nice to you?

i miss your hugs and i miss your voice.
maybe just maybe, you should talk to me more.